Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
