I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
