Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
