So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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