so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
