I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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