Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
