I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
