real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
