They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
