there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was like eating out sand paper
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he fucked my hip out of place.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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