im six kinds of drunk right now
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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