i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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