dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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