i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
