I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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