Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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