In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
