Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
