You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
