hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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