dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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