at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Randomize
