He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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