my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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