3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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