Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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