Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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