he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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