You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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