did you get engaged???
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
