you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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