yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize