You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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