just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
