if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
3 2 1 whiskey
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
