that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize