Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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