"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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