Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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