so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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