So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
