I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
