Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
