Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
