it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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