I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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