Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
