Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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