I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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