if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize