Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
