dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
