90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
