guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
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