You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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