Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
