We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
