I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You have to summon your inner elephant
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
